Fussitude

Fussitude, or the F-Scale as it's known in the scientific community, is what we use to gauge the level of fuss in Riley's britches. The scale ranges from the ever so slight F-1 to an F-4 which is rarely seen.


First let's examine the Riley in it's normal state (pictured above). Notice the content nature of the fuss. It's non-existant. She's alert, aware of her surrundings and she is perched majestically in the 'football hold' by her daddy. I believe her thumb was grape that day so needless to say this was a happy baby!






Here we have the F-1, "Fussy Britches" to the lay person. Fussy Britches is usually associated with some kind of low grade diaper issue, possibly a burp gone wrong or a mild case of 'my daddy didn't pick me up fast enough' disease. When encountering the F-1 Riley you should use caution. F-1's can easily escalate into a higher level of Fussitude at any moment. Do not take the F-1 lightly! Fussy Britches is typically identifiable by the lack of noise, although the Riley appears to be screaming at this point it is just a 'fussy face'.






In the next example we see the F-2 or "Fussy Britchitude". Fussy Britchitude is typically associated with a mid to high level diaper issue(stinkitude), it could be do to some regurgification on the 'cutest baby' outfit or just an F-1 not handled properly. F-2's can quickly escalate if not handled in the appropriate manor. Fussy Britchitude is an escalation from the F-1 in that now you can certainly hear the level of fussitude, it can come out of no where. F-2's have been known to wake up daddy's and/or puppies when they are napping and alert the mommy that daddy is not doing his job properly.






This here is a standard F-3, "Fussumous Britchitude". At this point the level of fussitude is spinning out of control. The F-3 is reached if the F-2 requires full diaper removal. Combine the F-2 level of Fussitude with a nakedness level of 3 (bottom's up)AND the chill factor of the wipes, you've got yourself a potential Fussumous Britchitude a brewin'. Britchitude will usually spark some kind of panic in the daddal unit, you need to remain calm. Just change the diaper and apply the warmth and swaddle of the receiving blanket. Also known as "burrito'ing the baby". Normally a good 'burrito'ing' after the comfort of a fresh diaper and a little bouncing or rocking and you can get yourself out of a mild F-3.






Finally the F-4, "Fussy Britchumousaurus-Rex". The Fussy Britchumousaurus-Rex is a highly volitile entity that is usually on the lookout for food and in great need of a diaper detail. Expect large quantities of stinkatude in addition to the chomping jaws that come with an uncontrollable hunger. When holding the Britchumousaur up it is common to get bitten on the neck, shoulder and/or bicep area depending on the type of hold you are applying. Do not attempt to handle the F-4 on your own. Daddy's are not capable of dealing with a Fussy Britchumousaurus-Rex, you need to wake the mommy up STAT! Britchmousaurus-Rex's can have so much fussitude that the begin hyperventalating in order to create more oxygen for another onslaught of screamage.

The Britchumousaurus-Rex has evolved from the Jurrasic Period after the great continent Pangaea broke apart. This Milkivour roamed the Earth in search of refreshment. It is an incredibly dangerous creature that should not be approached lightly.

The F-4 can also be reached when The Ducks, The Avalanche or any of our many favorite fighters loose!